Monday 22 August 2011
Nuptial Nightmares!!
OK, so a busy weekend.
Sunday
Job 1: Conquering the kitchen. Lamb tagine - conquered. Deliciously tender slow cooked lamb. A bit sweet though, not sure I'd do it again.
Job 2: Fitness
4 mile walk in the sun with Beau - perfect!
Sunday finished with a nice glass of Chardonnay and left over olives while watching Sex and the City. Having never jumped on the bandwagon and only having caught a few disjointed episodes, I haven't come to love the girls in the same way my peers. Not being a girly girl I found it hard to watch yet strangely hypnotic - as if it is a window to another reality. I wonder if this reality exists somewhere. Do women like this really exist? I compare my aspirations and friendships and count my blessings. Hypnotic, but not enough to keep me awake. I decide to watch the rest in the morning and turn in. I leave Carrie jilted at the altar. Having watched an episode of Don't Tell the Bride earlier in the evening, it doesn't make for happy sleeping.
This brings me through to Monday morning. I wake with a start. In my nightmare I'm getting married the next day and we have no cake - Grandma is suggesting biscuits instead. We have no bridesmaid's dresses. I want to cancel, postpone. It was never meant to be like this. How did I get to be so disorganised. Slowly as Beau kisses me good morning, I realise with relief I'm NOT getting married in the morning. I can breath again. Glad not to be starring in Don't Tell the Bride, I ponder on weddings and marriage. I don't need a wedding to have a marriage. The luxury of it is making me feel a bit sick. Do I deserve it? I'm filled with guilt. I am shocked at how excited I've become about The Wedding. Is this bad? Have I, like Carrie lost sight of what it means? Why else would I be having nightmares about cakes and dresses - this is not what it's about. Two coffee later, I resolve - my dress is not a bespoke one-off, not a meringue , I will NOT be wearing a bird on my head and I've just about still got as firm a grip as I ever had on life. I still listen to Cameron talk about Gaddafi's. The depressing news about the economic downturn. How badly off we all are. Given all this, I think it is time we made out own happiness and find it in all the small and large things that make up life.
I am not going to feel guilty ( I know I still will a bit) in an uncertain world I want to be married and I want to share it with my loved ones. It is everyday expereinces mixed with occassions such as this that make happy memories that can be treasure and fed upon in less happy, more difficult times. For this reason and all the joy it will bring, surely it can't be wrong. Surely it is only dangerous if it boils over and takes on a persona of its own? I have not lost sight of what it means. I guess I'm very lucky that my Beau is even more keen on sharing our wedding with others. The traditions are as important to him, maybe more so, as they are for me. They say it's the Bride's day. Well I'm going to make sure it is OUR day.
Well, even in the end Carrie got her happy ending- or did she - I'm sure, even with all her shoes, I wouldn't want her ending.I watched the rest of the film this morning, which squeezed out any time for a run. Course of action: Walk after lunch and yoga this evening. Surfing tomorrow has been cancelled so time for something more strenuous then!
Over and out...
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Hi BeeBee
ReplyDeleteI followed the link from your bodyrock.tv comment and I applaud your plan. You seem to have all the ingredients and you are already exercising and paying attention to your nutrition. Jamie Oliver is an excellent source, well done. It's really great that you have decided to do this for yourself and have given yourself plenty of time to succeed. The BodyRock site and community are always good choices for simple, quick, tough workouts and encouragement.
Sometimes beginning a circuit workout like that can be intimidating. I would recommend just picking one move the first time. Then two days later, do two moves, then 2 days later do 3 moves, then by the beginning of the next week you are ready for the whole workout for time and reps. Once you can do one all the way through, you can do most of them all the way through. You can always do just one set and then a week later, try two sets. The body will adapt pretty quickly so ease into it and you won't get setback by an injury. Yoga, as you know, is superb at injury prevention.
Staying motivated is tricky. For me, success builds the desire for success. If I get my 5 or 6 workouts in during a week for a few weeks, I know I'm doing the right stuff and it begins to show. Bam! More motivation. I make better food choices mostly by eliminating something carby I was going to grab because it was laying out. After a week of fueling my body well, everything feels better. Bam! Even more motivation.
I've also known people that take pictures of their body every day and post it on their blog. That is gutsy. It works because they know the photo is coming and they better have eaten right and exercised. If not, they hit a quick workout before the photos. Daily, you can't see the changes, but when you scroll through 12 weeks, it's usually pretty impressive. I have tried taking photos and it helped, but I didn't have the courage to post them online. I'm toying with the idea again.
As far as wedding anxiety, allow me to plant a seed. My wife and I decided to get married on a 7 day rafting trip with close friends on the Colorado River. We got married on day two in a stunning riverside red rock canyon. We had pictures and video. My wife was breathtaking in her simple white dress, Teva sandals, handmade bouquet and wreath of flowers. Our River Guide, and dear friend, married us. We had zero stress and got to have our honeymoon on the river with our best friends over the next several days. Bliss.
When we returned to Florida, we visited family and friends individually over the next several weeks with our photos and video and got to re-live the whole experience again and again. Instead of 5 minutes of conversation at the wedding reception, we got a solid couple of hours with each loved one. It was stress free, still makes a great story and goes down as one of the best decisions we ever made.